MangoMan Jumping The Signal

If somebody wants to know how much we Indians are busy or running short of time…she should observe the behavior of people waiting at traffic signal for red signal to turn green under the auspicious presence of a Traffic Cop. After spending 2 years in United States where traffic laws are tough, breaking them brings high penalties and the aggravating factor is cops don’t take bribe easily, I have somehow come to respect the traffic signals. So after coming to India when I started driving my friend’s bike, I kept my good habit going i.e. to stop at red light. This exercise has given me ample opportunity to observe the behavior of people waiting at Traffic Signal and I can authoritatively conclude that we Indians are very busy or running short of time, after all it requires lot of effort as a nation to catch up with our beloved neighbor CHINA on growth rate and economic indicators.

Here is a shorty on how a person approaches a traffic signal in India. Our MangoMan (whom now onwards I am going to refer as MM) is cruising on a busy road on a Monday morning in a perfect Brownian motion which will bring shame to particle suspended in fluid. MM has got perfect space detector and locking system embedded in his eyes so he can use space available on the road to the optimum. Our MM is in total control of his vehicle while dodging other vehicles, pedestrians, pot holes, cows, dogs, pigs & blah blah, maneuvering his vehicle like guided missiles, taking sharp turns which will bring shame on F1/Bike racers, racing along like a tiger which is after a gazelle to get to his destination in minimum time possible and while doing all this he suddenly sees Traffic Signal turning to red at approaching busy cross section. MM looks twice at the signal to make sure it is red and approaches it with disdain and cursing. The red light brought redness on MM face as he feels that the signal has turn red just for him and mocking him that dude you are going to see me mostly in red whenever you will approach me. Now there is an invisible war between MM and Red Traffic light and MM wants to beat the Red Traffic light and to do this MM accelerates his vehicle to full throttle which made him smile on the very fact that he is going to jump the signal to show Red Traffic light its worth but alas the smile was on MM face is ephemeral as he spots a traffic cops at the far corner of cross section. The Traffic Cop is a fat man with no interest in his job and is in animated conversation with somebody but his mere presence there was bringing traffic to halt at Red Traffic Light and our MM was no different. MM looked at Red Traffic Light and found a smiling smiley there, he has to act fast and think something so that he doesn’t have to stop despite the odds against him. As first course of action MM started de-accelerating his vehicle in order to buy more time. The logic here is before he reaches the white marker on the road where he had to completely halt, the Traffic signal will turn green. So now our MM is inching slowly to the coveted white marker on the road and simultaneously watching traffic signal. It looks like that today traffic signal is in no mood to turn green so when our MM reaches the white mark at the traffic signal where he had to stop, the signal is still red. MM has to stop now but he keeps on moving but now his speed is comparable to the speed of an ant but the fact that he is moving is providing mental satisfaction to our MM. He has crossed the white mark and the Red Traffic Signal and now he is moving toward the zebra crossing creating issues for people who by mistake using it to cross the roads. Now MM is not able to see the Traffic Signal of his traffic so he is looking jealously at green signal of crossing traffic praying very hard that it should turn red before traffic cop spots him and finds that our MM is moving on disregarding the red signal and worst him. But today MM luck is very bad as it is always so Traffic cop sees MM ahead of the rest of the impatient traffic and still moving slowly on the zebra crossing. By some heavenly intuition MM also founds out that the Traffic cops has seen him violating the red traffic signal and his pride and he is coming menacingly towards MM with baton in his hand. Eureka, suddenly MM founds out that crossing traffic signal has turned red but the crossing traffic is still coming. The frustrated cop which was after MM has to stop this traffic and this gave ample time to our beloved MM who blares the horn and speeds his vehicle zooming past the helpless Traffic Cop who is trying to stop traffic. MM turns once last time to see the swearing traffic cop and the traffic signal which were about to rob his pride but when he looks ahead he sees another impending red signal on his way.

Note:I am damn sure if we will factor all the obstacle faced by our MangoMan on the road, his timing from point A to point B can go into Guinness Book of World Records very easily.